Unanswerable questions by Monic

Indonesian, Communication Arts student, living in the Philippines, petite yet big

A bit of thought.
This is not junior year anymore. This is my final year. I don’t have time for blooming over distance moments. If you know what I’m trying to say. I may not as creative as thee. But pretty cool enough to live my kind of life. 
But I have feeling, it won’t work out….or maybe it will?
(Original Picture by Actor Jung Il Woo)

Not 16 year-old girl anymore

I look back on my little self back on freshman year. I cried a lot, I said I wanna go home then my sister told me I’m the most irresponsible person ever. Then I cried more, it hurts….I won’t forget. 

I woke up everyday, cheered up myself saying YOU CAN DO IT! Then here I go on my final year. People may see I’ve chilled most of time, having time of my life, wasting parents’ money. 

But,

Have u heard my heart saying I’m done…I wanna come home? Have you cried on your tiny room where no one comforts you then after, you have to comfort yourself instead, this is gonna be okay, it will be okay, you are okay? I did, I still do, tonight I’m doing that. Its funny how I heard people saying you are too sensitive, I probably would ask…Have you lived your life on your own in a foreign country where you have nobody to rely on? 

I find Joy and burden in doing all these things. I cry out liters of tears. Sometimes I hate it when people say You’ll be okay whilst I’m not. I’m not comfortable, I feel heavy, I feel like about to pop out…but they won’t understand. They only say I’m sensitive….You’re too sensitive.

 I’m turning twenty in half-year. I just want to say to all of you that I am sensitive but for the past years I learned so many things about life. Some of you may think of me in bad ways or good ways or any other ways that I think I will never understand, I love myself, I love my sensitivity, I love what I’m doing and I’m gonna do what and say what I need and want. This is my life and this grown-up self doesn’t need your opinions. But appreciate for your concern about this self.

Once upon a time my camera produced good quality photographs. Lol!

It still does actually. This is a #throwback post from family trip to Anyer (Beach area around J-Town). I’m missing my little brothers. Hope too see these peeps soon!

There’s funny story about I invest time with people who invest their time, thoughts, moments with me. Other cycle of pals of mine told me that I only waste my time (Is that what you guys’ trying to say?) and its funny that I, sometimes, even don’t feel how worthy is the investment that I put on them. Worth the while. Hopefully.
Not knowing whether to wait or to forget is the worst kind of suffering - Paulo Coelho
—- I tend to forget whilst I’m waiting. It goes like that for so long.

Not knowing whether to wait or to forget is the worst kind of suffering - Paulo Coelho

—- I tend to forget whilst I’m waiting. It goes like that for so long.

The super late upload Summer travel at Old Town Jakarta!

Echa and I had amazing day at Kota Tua (Old Town) Jakarta! We were on our best tourists mode. Hopefuly after graduation and interns, we’ll visit other places in Indonesia. 

Visit Jakarta, Indonesia 2014! #SalamDuaJari

Something exciting happened this week but it was kinda confusing. I was on the 9th cloud Hahahaha…but this term “regular date” was a bit ambiguous. The silly thing was I searched it on google. 

Anyway, I feel so happy that there are people care about me but I am much prefer crystal clear discussion when it comes to relationship matter. 

I often betrayed you with my sinful eyes but seriously those guys look beautiful, beautiful to be with. 

And wondering that you actually do the same thing, often. 

Not sure you see what I see
But I’m seeing something special
There’s something blooming in the distance, wonder if we’ll get there?

Still my favourite even after years.

I just wanna be as positive as I can be. Eventually the happiest day will arrive on His timing. It’s everyday happy-day anyway.

and be happy.